“Lived experience” is a phrase that gets used a lot.
In coaching.
In mental health spaces.
In leadership and wellbeing conversations.
But for me, lived experience is not a professional asset I added to my bio.
It is the terrain I have walked for over two decades.
I have lived through depression.
I have experienced suicidal ideation.
I live with an incurable chronic health condition.
Those experiences did not just shape my perspective.
They reshaped my identity, my capacity, and my understanding of what it actually means to become your best version of self.
And today, they shape every part of the work I do.
Living Through Depression Changes How You See People
Depression is often misunderstood.
From the outside, it can look like low mood, lack of motivation, or negativity. But when you are inside it, depression is something far more consuming.
It can feel like:
Moving through wet concrete
Losing access to hope
Questioning your value
Feeling exhausted by simply existing
When you have lived through depression, you learn something important.
You learn that willpower is not the issue.
You learn that mindset alone does not fix everything.
You learn that people are often fighting battles they cannot articulate.
That knowledge stays with you.
It changes how you listen.
It changes how you respond.
It changes what you assume about someone who says, “I’m fine.”
When I work with people now, especially those struggling with mental health challenges, burnout, or loss of identity, I do not start with performance. I start with safety.
Because when someone is battling depression or even silent suicidal ideation, the first thing they need is not optimisation.
They need to feel understood.
Surviving Suicidal Ideation Reframes Everything
There is a particular kind of darkness that comes with suicidal ideation.
It is not always loud.
It is not always dramatic.
Sometimes it is quiet and persistent.
It whispers that you are a burden.
It convinces you that things will not change.
It narrows your future down to a single, frightening thought.
Living through that changes your relationship with life itself.
You begin to see how fragile hope can feel.
You realise how important it is to have even one steady voice in your corner.
You understand that survival is not weakness. It is strength.
This experience now informs how I support others.
When someone tells me they feel stuck, lost, or disconnected from who they used to be, I do not minimise it. I do not rush to solutions.
Because I know what it means to sit in that space.
And I also know something else.
I know that it is possible to build a life that feels worth staying for.
That belief is not theoretical for me. It is lived.
Living With a Chronic Incurable Health Condition
For 24 years, I have lived with an incurable chronic health condition.
Chronic illness is not just a medical diagnosis. It is a daily negotiation.
You negotiate with energy.
You negotiate with pain.
You negotiate with expectations.
It forces you to rethink productivity.
It forces you to rethink identity.
It forces you to rethink what success looks like.
You cannot live with chronic illness and pretend limits do not exist.
But you also cannot surrender to the idea that your life is over!!!
There is a middle ground.
That middle ground is where my work now lives.
When you are navigating chronic illness, you do not need someone telling you to “push through.”
You do not need toxic positivity.
You do not need to be compared to your former self.
You need support that understands capacity fluctuates.
You need encouragement that respects your reality.
You need a way to build your best version of self that includes your limitations, not ignores them.
Why Lived Experience Matters in Personal Development
There is a difference between studying resilience and living it.
You can read about trauma.
You can train in mental health frameworks.
You can understand psychological theory.
And all of that has value.
But lived experience adds something different.
It adds depth.
It adds nuance.
It adds compassion that cannot be faked.
When someone works with me, they are not being met by someone who only understands growth on good days.
They are working with someone who has rebuilt from breakdown.
Someone who has redefined ambition after illness.
Someone who understands that sometimes progress means simply staying.
This is why lived experience is shaping my work more explicitly now.
It is not about positioning.
It is about honesty.
My Mission: Encouraging Your Best Version of Myself Today
My mission is simple.
I want to encourage as many people as I can toward their best version of self.
Not the version social media sells.
Not the version built on hustle culture.
Not the version that ignores grief, illness, or mental health.
The real version.
The one that accounts for your story.
The one that honours your scars.
The one that works with your reality.
That is where the #bvomt framework comes in.
What Is the #bvomt Framework?
#bvomt stands for Best Version Of Myself Today.
The final word matters.
Today.
Not ten years ago.
Not before the diagnosis.
Not before the breakdown.
Not before the loss.
Today.
When you have lived through depression or chronic illness, the idea of becoming your “best self” can feel overwhelming or even insulting.
It can sound like:
You are not enough as you are
You need to fix yourself
You need to go back to who you were
That is not what #bvomt means.
The #bvomt framework is grounded in three key principles:
1. Radical Honesty
You start with what is true now.
What is your energy actually like?
What are your emotional limits?
What support do you need?
Without honesty, growth becomes self-punishment.
2. Sustainable Action
Your best version is not built in burnout.
Small, consistent actions matter more than dramatic bursts of motivation.
Especially when living with chronic illness or managing mental health, sustainability is everything.
3. Identity Rebuilding
Depression and long-term health conditions can fracture identity.
You may lose the version of yourself you once relied on.
#bvomt is about building a new identity that fits your current reality while still honouring your potential.
Not chasing who you were.
Becoming who you are now capable of being.
From Survival to Contribution
For a long time, my focus was survival.
Getting through the day.
Managing symptoms.
Holding myself together.
But something shifts when survival becomes steadier.
You begin to ask different questions.
How can this pain serve a purpose?
How can this experience reduce someone else’s isolation?
How can what nearly broke me now help build someone else?
That shift is why I do this work.
Because depression is isolating.
Suicidal ideation is isolating.
Chronic illness is isolating.
And isolation magnifies suffering.
If my lived experience allows someone to feel less alone, then it matters.
If it gives someone language for what they are going through, it matters.
If it shows someone that growth is still possible, even within limits, it matters.
Encouragement Without Denial
Encouragement is often misunderstood.
It is not blind optimism.
It is not pretending everything is fine.
It is not ignoring pain.
True encouragement says:
I see how hard this is.
And I believe there is still something meaningful ahead.
When I encourage people toward their best version of self, I am not asking them to deny their struggle.
I am asking them to include it.
Your depression does not erase your value.
Your suicidal thoughts do not define your future.
Your chronic illness does not cancel your potential.
They change the shape of your path.
But they do not end it.
Who This Work Is For
This work is for people who:
Are living with depression or managing their mental health
Have experienced suicidal ideation and are rebuilding
Are navigating chronic illness or long-term health challenges
Feel disconnected from who they used to be
Want growth that respects their limits
It is not about quick fixes.
It is about steady rebuilding.
It is about learning how to live forward when going back is not an option.
Why I Am Speaking More Openly Now
For years, I worked in ways that were broad and accessible.
But I realised something.
The people who most needed this approach sometimes could not see themselves in it.
Because I was not naming my lived experience clearly enough.
I am naming it now because transparency builds trust.
And trust is the foundation of meaningful change.
I do not claim authority because I have suffered.
I simply offer perspective because I have lived it.
There is a difference.
Becoming Your Best Version, Even Now
If you are reading this while struggling with depression, living with chronic illness, or carrying thoughts you rarely speak out loud, I want you to hear this clearly.
Your current state is not your final identity.
You may need support.
You may need rest.
You may need medical care, therapy and community.
And alongside that, you are still allowed to grow.
Not by ignoring your limits.
But by working with them.
The #bvomt framework exists because I needed it first.
It helped me stop fighting the reality of my condition.
It helped me move from shame to self-respect.
It helped me build a life that feels meaningful, even if it looks different from what I once imagined.
And now it shapes the work I do every day.
Final Thoughts
Lived experience is not a marketing angle for me.
It is the reason I care so deeply about this work.
I know what it is like to question whether you want to keep going.
I know what it is like to grieve the version of yourself you lost.
I know what it is like to rebuild slowly.
And I also know this.
You are not finished.
Your best version of self may look different than you expected.
It may be quieter.
It may be slower.
It may be built in smaller steps.
But it is still possible.
And if my story can encourage you to believe that about yourself, then every part of the journey has shaped something worthwhile.
If this resonates, I invite you to explore the #bvomt framework and consider what your best version of self looks like today.
Not yesterday.
Not someday.
Today.
